February 2010
“I surprise me sometimes…”
– Yours truly.
“I can’t make you love me, this time it’s all you.”
– I Wish I Knew Natalie Portman, k-os, feat. Nelly Furtado & Saukrates.
“Whenfore Canada Day again?”
– Dervd…
“I’m in a quiet crisis: You’re just not listening.”
– Straighten the Curtain, Woodhands.
When I speak and you listen, there is no better...
Evan was especially irritating at work today.
He even called me stupid and ugly, and though I’m pretty sure he was joking, it still hurt. He should know better than to say things like that to me. Sometimes I think he says things like that on purpose, just to make me hurt, though I can’t imagine what I possibly could have done to deserve that. I’m not saying I’m perfect or...
January 2010
CBC GO!
I’m pretty sure I’m one of like, fifty or sixty people who can say they dance-partied with Woodhands at nine am this morning. =D
“One or the other, it’s just a little rearranging.
We both do well in bed...”
– Dissembler, Woodhands.
“When it was always you who was going to cease and desist me.”
– Dissembler, Woodhands.
Remorsecapade.
Brent Bambury: Okay, so I love your new album. Now... This is a mix of New Order and something else.
Dan Werb: Huh.
Brent: What is that other thing?
Dan: I think uh...manic insanity...of the emotional variety, maybe?
Paul Banwatt's Secret Passion.
Brent Bambury: So this is like - cryptozoology would be like... Uhh... Animals that we're not sure exist or not.
Dan Werb: That's such a diplomatic way of putting it!
This totally blew my mind!!
Mark Ronson remixes...
Jay.
So according to Evan’s roommate, Jay, I’m not dressing up the story of how I managed to end up with teeth marks on the back of my shoulder NEARLY well enough. Instead of just “Evan bit me,” I need something crazier and more ridiculous. And I thought the whole biting thing was ridiculous enough!!
Anyway, here’s way Jay has to say about it:
~
Okay, you need to tell a...
I Know My Name!
Mom: So Janine...
Janine: That's me!!!
The Keg.
Janine: Is the ice PINK?!
Me: I don't know, let's poke it!
“I just, I just, I just, I just, I just wanna kick you in tha faaace!!!”
– Janine.
“I don’t believe in promoting…combat…”
– Jenni.
Remorsecapade! →
YES YES YES YES YES!! I am soooo excited to see these guys with k-os and Saukrates in March!!
“I think the only way that’s possible is if A. You’re deaf, or B....”
– Dervd, on what constitutes “virgin ears”.
“Did you just punch the keyboard?”
– Julia Hlakowitz. vhxsfhjd (I think…)
Friends & Family...
I would bleed for you in a heartbeat that might be my last.
“I was at a bar one day last week, and some girl was showing off this new tattoo...”
– Jay.
“Oh, what’s your tattoo say? Aww, courage? That’s so sweet! Mine says...”
– Jay. xD
The Office.
Toby: Do you take requests?
Andy: Sure.
Toby: Please stop.
“You know what else fucking bothered me? Racism that early in the morning! Like,...”
– Alex Pavone.
Calling In.
Manager: You weren't sick, you were hungover!!
Nick Beaton: Yeah, have you ever been hungover? It's a lot like being sick!
The Central.
Evan: Where are you from?
Guy: Yonge & Finch.
Evan: What the hell do you do at Yonge & Finch?!
Guy: Shoot people?
“It’ll be June in February.”
– Dervd.
Up and at'em...
Mark: We need to get cracking soon in order to get back in time. So... I will keep sleeping, and you can do everything else. How's that sound?
Me: Good plan. Very fair.
Mark: I thought so too. Well... Night!!
“Oh the trouble we could get in, so let’s screw this one up right.”
– Holiday From Real, Jack’s Mannequin.
“There’s nothing going on in my pants!”
– Devon.
Pantry.
Me: What are you doing just sitting on the floor in the pantry?
Mark: I'm getting a bottle of wine.
Me: Oh, I already opened one. It's upstairs on the counter.
Mark: I know. I drank it.
The Morning After.
Katlin: Good morning, miss! How are you feeling?
Me: Just fine, thanks, actually. Now excuse me while I go reconcile with Billy.
Katlin: Who's Billy?
Mark: The toilet.
Katlin: She named the toilet?
Mark: Among other things.
Katlin: First the fire, now the toilet... What else is she going to name?!
Mark: Ask Freddie.
Katlin: Who's Freddie?!
Mark: The little guy in her head who helps her name things.
“I’d like my eggs either easy over or sunny fried up, please!!”
– Eric. xD
“I’m gonna get me some CRAZY PAAAANTS!!!!”
– Gordon.
“What IS it with you white people?! You just fucking think you can urinate...”
– Gordon.
New word.
Katlin: Don't you know that I'm the Queen of the World?
Gordon: Neglatory!! That is so negative that I had to make up a word for it!
Drunken ramblings.
Me: That's prejudiced!
Eric: That's actually a part of the table.
Mark: That's actually an absence of the table...
Eric: Oh... My bad...
“I don’t have vision, but I have ears!!”
– Mark, as Boxhead.
Boxhead.
Me: Boxhead, put your thumb on your nose!!
Mark: Do I HAVE a nose?!?!
Bad news bears...
Jeremy: Why is no one going?
Katlin: I'm missing a little brother!!
“I’ve decided that my little green man can be a she.”
– Curtis.
“Oh, don’t do that! We had a good thing going! It just REEKED of form!”
– Curtis, on Jenga.
This again?
Fearless Fred: And here he is! Mr. Tall, dark, and knowledgeable!!
Adam: That is what I am. Those are all accurate descriptions of me.
“And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a...”
– There is a Light That Never Goes Out, The Smiths. (Why do I love such romantically negative lyrics like these so much??)
Moving Part 2 Part 2.
Amir: You know what? Let's stay.
Jake: How...do you think that's up to you?
Amir: Okay, you know what? Let's go.
Jake: STILL not up to you...
Moving Part 2.
Amir: Woah.. I just realized something... If this office burns down, we won't have to move.
Jake: That's the opposite of true.
Amir: Get the kerosene!
Jake: No, it's not true-
Amir: GET THE KEROSENE!
“*GASP* HOLY MOVING, BAT MAT!”
– Amir, Jake & Amir: Moving.
Moving.
Jake: No, no! I know what that look is! You just convinced yourself I said you were cute and not illiterate.
Amir: I will take you calling me cute over illiterare EVERY day!
Jake: Any day, and... I know you'd take that. I'm not giving it, okay? I didn't say you were cute...